Eating to Gain

by Peachy Palate on February 10, 2012

It’s been a while since my last eating disorder insight post; I only tend to write them when issues or new developments arise or someone brings a question to the table. I’ve noticed of late there are more people blogging about the struggle to gain weight after having suffered from an eating disorder, not only due to the psychological contraindications but also the mass amount of food that is usually required.

Going from eating nothing or the bare minimum, to eating anywhere between 2,000 and 3,000 calories a day is a little intimidating to say the least. Through the various stages of my eating disorder I’ve lost, regained, lost again, and remained steady for quite some time. I have at times managed to find a balance between calories taken in and those burned in order to prevent me losing weight whilst slowly managing to gain a few pounds here and there. The problem is falling in to a routine, eating a certain amount resulting in a plateau below your target weight.

The most important thing I’ve learned to date, come to recognise and truly appreciate is that it really isn’t about food, it isn’t about weight and that rather than forcing that element of recovery you need to work on your mind first and foremost. There are obviously cases were a person’s weight has dropped so low that an initial weight gain has to become priority but in general I would be of the opinion that weight gain and increased food intake will happen relatively naturally through the recovery process. The day will come when you can have that ice cream and not feel guilty!

My initial weight regain way back when I was 15 was achieved through using supplements which I must admit was easier but in the long term not really a solution as they inevitably had to be replaced by food and my body and mind found it difficult to adjust to eating such large quantities of solids having depended on the meal replacements for so long.

It’s not just about eating to gain weight, it’s about learning to love food again, allowing yourself to enjoy food, recognising the qualities it possesses and the nourishment it provides to the different parts of your body. Letting go of my control over food and slowly gaining weight has been most successful for me when I don’t put any pressure on myself. I’m still underweight and I don’t profess to have all the knowledge when it comes to the most ideal way to tackle weight gain but I do know what has worked and is still working for me.

Over the last few months I’ve made a few changes to my own diet and it’s only been over the last month or so that it’s started to make a difference and I’ve managed to put on a few pounds. One thing about the weight going on slowly which I can compare to when the whole process was accelerated on the shakes is that it’s much easier to cope with, to accept and be grateful for. You’re not depending on a food substitute and you’ve managed to make inroads by simple eating a healthy balanced diet.

Here are a few of my top tips for weight gain during and post recovery (as I believe your mind can have recovered long before your body, though ideally the two should go hand in hand).

  1. Plan meals at least a day in advance; you won’t have to make any last minute decisions and you’ll be mentally prepared for and eventually start looking forward to mealtimes.
  2. Eat 5-6 smaller meals a day as opposed to three main large main meals. The smaller amounts of food will be easier to digest and should help prevent you feeling overly full/bloated.
  3. Cut back on the fruit and veg; you’re more than likely eating copious amounts of fruit and veg. to give yourself that full feeling which will only lead to bloating.
  4. Introduce one new food every day; take that mental list of unsafe foods and change the title to “new foods to try”. Question what you believe about them and find information to contradict your theories and irrational thought. I don’t necessarily mean starting eating chips, cake and chocolate, but try and make sure your meals are more balanced; include a protein, a carbohydrate, a fat and fruit or veg.
  5. Sprinkle smoothies, oats, cereal and salad with nuts, seeds and dried fruit. Such an easy way to add extra calories without having to consume a large amount of extra food. I remember when the likes of nuts never passed my lips, now I’m a nutaholic!
  6. Don’t skip meals; it might sound obvious, but making sure to eat every meal, every day is so important. Skipping one or two on occasion will have an impact; all your hard efforts may not pay off and there’s great potential for it to quickly become a bad habit.
  7. Drink peppermint tea; it will help ease any initial stomach cramps you may experience from the sudden increase in food.
  8. Have something planned for after meal times; you want to avoid over analysing what you have and haven’t eaten. If you really can’t avoid it, quickly write down your feelings, as opposed to your thoughts, dig a little deeper, but limit the time you spend doing so.
  9. Eat in company where possible; rather than eating alone try and eat with family or friends environment who  will hopefully be able to provide a good deal of support and also distraction. Eating alone makes it too easy for you to analyse what your eating as opposed to enjoying it.
  10. Weigh yourself no more than once a week, at the same time, on the same day; any mid week fluctuations may through you off your game!
  11. If your going to exercise your going to have to eat more…
  12. Absolve yourself from conversations around dieting; there are always going to be women/men on a “diet”, you can’t completely remove yourself from situations but have to learn to let it wash over you.
  13. Go easy on yourself, the goal isn’t to wake up tomorrow and feel what you might describe as “normal” or to have suddenly gained a stone; its a slow process and it’s as much about rekindling your relationship with food as it is about weight gain.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Turtle-speed Runner February 11, 2012 at 12:57 am

What a great post. I’ve gained back all my ED weight and then some, so it doesn’t apply to me… but you’ve put up some really good thoughts on gaining in a way which would feel more “safe” to someone in the hardest part of their ED!
Good luck on continuing to gain yourself!

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Peachy Palate February 11, 2012 at 9:49 am

Thanks! Trucking on! :)

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PB&Jenny February 11, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I think you’re really really great miss Peachy Palate :) ! I can see that you’ve developed such a passionate relationship with food and it’s truly inspiring! I do have a quick question: I’m not sure if you follow a specific meal plan/count calories, but how do you ensure that you’re eating enough to gain weight? You say you plan meals in advance — do you plan them in according to calories or exchanges or do you just.. well. eat? I’m curious as to what techniques work for other people! Your recipes are so creative and versatile and I really hope to one day be able to cook without having to be so concerned with the nutritional content!

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Peachy Palate February 11, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I know I eat approximately 2,200 every day and every so often I just up it a little more. Breakfast is usually 500 -600, lunch about 500, dinner about 400, and evening snack about 500, then I squeeze in a couple of snacks during the day, or one larger one whenever hunger hits. I don’t count the calories but I just trust my sense at this stage and always have a general idea when I’m putting things together. Every so often I just eat a little more of something and then continue to do so if I plateau or loose weight. I plan out recipes now for the week and the day before I’ll scribble down the day ahead but only for the purpose of making up the meals I’m going put up recipes for and be photographing. When I was in the initial stages of recovery I would sit down a week in advance with my Mum and plan out the week and we’d make goals of new foods and were I could add in extra calories. If you try to let go of the counting and calculating and push yourself to do it over a week you might just surprise yourself with how you get on. Obviously I don’t want to be giving any hard advice not knowing how far you’ve come or how your mindset is but if you have more questions feel free to ask (you can mail me if you like!) :) I’ve managed to be less strict about nutritional content through just slowing letting go…I know it sounds too easy but the more you do it the more easy it becomes as you soon release you won’t suddenly wake up “fat” (for want of a better word) and you if you let go of the control the world won’t come tumbling in. I wanted to achieve “perfection” when I was controlling to the extreme…now I believe perfection to be balance, I want to both look and feel strong! Hope that helps!

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Richeal February 11, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Hey, I can totally empathize with you because I’m coming from exactly the same place. I never quiet went too far down the eating disorder road physically. I went from 135 to 110 pounds in a year (being 5”7 it wasnt that underweight but I’m a runner and I lost my period). I used to have a very restrictive diet (no wheat, sugar or dairy) but the last few months I’ve let that go in an attempt to recover my mental sanity and gain a few pounds in the hope of getting my period back and feeling stronger when I run. Despite the fact that I have technically ”succeeded” seeing as I’ve put on 10 pounds and feel less faint I haven’t got my period back(its been gone for 2 years) and am finding it very hard to cope with the changes that I see in my body. I spend a lot of time looking in the mirror picking my flaws. About 50% of my thoughts are occupied by my struggle between the wanting to be a better athlete and get my period back vs wanting to lose weight again and gain the feeling of control I once had. Also I have become quiet addicted to cheese and dark chocolate and bread again but the feeling of guilt that I get when I eat these things cause me to eat them quickly so that the guilty feeling will go away but because I eat them quickly I dont feel I’ve managed to enjoy it and continue to eat more to try and enjoy it while feeling increasingly panicked and guilty the more I eat. I dont think these addictions are healthy and the way I feel like I’m almost forcing myself to eat these foods (despite I fact that I love the taste) isn’t good because even though I want to enjoy them in moderation I feel like the quantity i’m eating isn’t healthy and there is no point if I amen’t enjoying them. I rarely feel hungry, I am basically just eating because ”sensible” me thinks I need to gain weight or at least keep it on but its not making me happy. I want to have a healthy relationship with food and get on with my life but I also feel like the weight I’ve gained is dragging me down socially because I’m so ashamed of my body I dont like dressing up and going out anymore. I want to lose some weight but I don’t want it to be forced and obsessive. I just wanna lead a healthy lifestyle eating the fresh food that I love (fruit veggies beans etc) and enjoy my indulgences in moderation so I can truely enjoy them instead of feeling like theyre an addictive guilty thing… What would you recommend as a meal plan to get me back on track for a healthy lifestyle? I’m in school but I dont mind preparing stuff the night before hand cause I absolutely love cooking. Also I tend to ruin my appetite by picking when I cook. Any tips to stop nibbling so I can enjoy my finished masterpiece with a great dollop of hunger sauce? Thanks :)
Btw I love your blog so much. You are such a talented chef and an amazing photographer not to mention an extremely devoted blogger.

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Peachy Palate February 11, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Having been through anorexia, bulimia and binge eating I completely sympathise with all that you’ve said. To avoid over eating the foods you want to enjoy limit the amount you buy and freeze individual portions to make it harder to over eat them. Don’t eat these foods as snacks, but add them too meals (chocolate chips on pancakes or in oats, cheese in salads..) and then you won’t crave such large quantities in single sittings.
I nibble when I’m cooking but to avoid too much of it make sure you cook after having eaten and not on an empty stomach otherwise it’s inevitable!
I have loads of healthy breakfast ideas, overnight oats are great, over on the recipage (so you won’t have to worry yourself about choosing quantities). I’d say aim for at least 4-5 smaller meals a day; you’ll stay full for longer. Snacks can become meals. I eat 5 times a day and then I also eat fruit in between. The more regularly you eat the more your body will crave food and become hungry. What I would say from experience is that I was constantly bloated and felt full to the brim until I cut wheat from my diet. I now eat spelt flour and make my own breads, pancakes, pastries and what not with it and haven’t looked back since. Avoid super large quantities of vegetables or fruit in one sitting as this will also cause bloating and don’t chew gum as it will fill your stomach with air, as will drinking fizzy drinks, coffee or drinking threw a straw!
I’ve also lots of yummy healthy lunches and dinners over on the recipage, most of which can be prepared the night before (prepare double and pack the remainder up for lunch – this will also help with nibbling as you can nibble on half of what your cooking safe in the knowledge that it fits in to your meal plan! :) )
Whatever you do don’t cut out cheese and chocolate as you will only crave and binge on them more. I add chocolate chips to breakfasts every now and then, make healthy baked goods and have two squares of 85% dark chocolate every evening without fail! I look forward to them and enjoy them and don’t crave more because it’s time to sleep after I’ve had them, I eat it with fruit and I know I can’t afford to fund a habit any bigger than two squares a day as it’s pricey!
Hope all that helps! Feel free to email me if you have more questions or comment away.

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tara February 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

wow…this is me in a nutshell..the binging and everything.

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tara February 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

My reply above was to Richeal.

Anyway, I need to email you because I’m really lost.

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Peachy Palate February 14, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Got your mail…mailed you back! :)

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np* February 16, 2012 at 1:33 am

Still continuing to be an inspiration, thanks so much Peachy Palate .

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Peachy Palate February 16, 2012 at 6:41 am

Thank you!

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