Not sure where to start

I’ve so many thoughts running through my mind at the moment, so many things other than a new recipe that I want to blog about and I’m not sure were to start.

I figured the best place to start is with a little update on where I’m at.

Ashley at my Food and Fitness Diaries did a really cool post last week called then and now so I decided to jump right on the bandwagon!

Then I ate regimentally, the same food every day. Everything down to a slice of bread had to be the same weight or I’d freak out.

Now I eat different foods every single day; I revel in it and look forward to it.

ThenI hated food, it was the enemy.

NowFood is my passion! I love cooking, photographing, buying and most importantly eating it.

ThenI loved feeling hungry, it felt like success.

NowI turn in to a gremlin if hunger hits and I don’t have food at hand. It amazes me when I think of how I used to live off so little!

Then I had food guilt whenever I ate more carbs, or something sweet or anything outside of the “norm”…an extra teaspoon of rice, a gram of bread, a larger apple…bad times!

Now I enjoy my food, when I crave something I have it and I’m at peace with it!

Then I weighed food so that I could reduce my portion size.

NowI still weigh food at certain times but it’s to maintain and more often than not lately to increase my portion size!

ThenI wasted money on food to binge on and purge

NowI spend a lot of money on fresh produce and wonderful ingredients to make delicious meals and snacks to fuel my body

Then I had no energy, I felt weak, I wanted to sleep…

Now I workout 6 days a week, I feel energized, alive and healthy!

Then I baked sweet treats but wouldn’t dare to take a bite…

Now I bake because I love to experiment in the kitchen and nothing goes uneaten. I love having baked goods and raw high energy snacks in the fridge or freezer to have on hand.

Then Fat was the enemy, I ate only low fat products.

Now My favourite foods are high in fat..nuts and nut butters!

Then I was vegetarian, and ate a tiny amount of fish occasionally but live predominantly off vegetables and almost dry toast.

Now I have a protein, carb and fat rich diet (of the healthy variety of course!)

Then I made promises to myself at night that tomorrow I would change, tomorrow I would challenge myself…

Now I challenge myself, my mind, my body…every single day! I make promises that I keep.

ThenI lied about what I had eaten to others in order to please them

NowI don’t feel the need to make a song and dance about eating, I do it all the time, it’s not a big deal!

Then I felt under pressure to behave a certain way, to give off a certain appearance…

Now I am who I am, I’ve accepted me, in the here and now, in the future, however I change, that’s all that matters!

Then I felt trapped…

Now I’m free!

I’m making a few changes to the blog over the next week in terms of the look and feel. In line with that I’m also going to make a concerted effort to share some more of my thoughts other than on the new recipes I’ve been creating! At least once a week I’ll be posting about either my own inner thoughts and wellbeing or around something in relation to healthy living  and fitness. If anyone has any requests be sure to let me know!

If you were to make one “then and now” statement what would it be? Oh I also found this cool infographic the other night which I had to share…

As I finish typing this post I know exactly what I want to blog about next!

Tagged as: about me, body and mind, eating disorder recovery